One is the loneliest

One is the loneliest…
Every once in while during a rare peaceful moment at home, when the kids are playing quietly or taking a nap, when the room is calm and time is still, I find myself reminiscing of life before mommy-hood. Certainly not in a regretful way or with any sense of longing, but in almost a satirical daydream. Like many of you, the arrival of baby number one brought with it an unfortunate period of self-imposed isolation. Acclimating to life with a new baby brings new social challenges for partners, parents, and most of all friends. My beloved group of gals (whom I cherish dearly) did not all get married or have kids at the same time. I never considered this would be an issue but much like a Sex and the City theme it did at times present an awkwardness or tension between the “old me” and the “new mom”. All at once a loss of freedom; to sit up till midnight listening to stories of their new romance, or putting their kids in the right Kindergarten, or stresses at work, all of which I was not really in tune with what with my new responsibilities of non-stop breastfeeding and nighttime diaper changes, or getting any time to shower…etc. (sound familiar?) Justifiably a selfishly unselfish period in my life.

Yes, still lonely…
… And then you figure it out. The baby learns to sleep, you learn to multitask and pump, and mommy-hood becomes a little more familiar, and with that comes precious small pockets of time. Some for yourself of course (momma desperately needs a pedicure, seriously) some for your partner (finally, quality cuddle time on the couch with a nice Merlot… and my husband of course), and dare I say it; yes, a night out with the girls (or 2hrs max but I’ll take it!). But one aspect of life remains a constant nagging pain in the butt. It can make you so frustrated and angry, and the fact that no one else including your friends and partner don’t get it just makes you feel all the more helpless. When I found out I had a Diastasis I was blown away. I’ve known so many people who had babies, I trained them and worked intimately with clients both pre and postpartum and never did this topic come up. No one knew what I was talking about. My trainer friends would tell me “just do more ab work” the doctors told me “if the physical therapy doesn’t work, there’s always surgery once you’ve finished having children”. I did not know a single person who had any idea what this was let alone how to fix it.

Hey! I’m not alone!
When my sister called and told me that her Pilates instructor wanted her to see a doctor about the condition of her tummy after months of training, I was stunned to hear the diagnoses; Diastasis-Recti. She had her baby 2 months after mine but it was her third. Once she learned what the condition was she was convinced that she probably got the diastasis with her second baby and was just never diagnosed. She’s always been very fit, loves to run and train hard, but she just assumed that having a little tummy was part of being a mommy. So many women are living with diastasis under the same misconception. Not everyone who has a baby will get a diastasis but everyone should be checked for one. Statistics show that up to 90% of all woman who have babies will have a diastasis to some degree. It’s not a condition you need to live with just because you had a baby, and it’s certainly is not a result of not exercising or being lazy. Of all the diagnoses I’ve heard of how or why women get diastasis the best one I received was actually from my own OBGYN during my first pregnancy; “It’s just bad luck” but fear not my friends, I can solidly assure you, you are most definitely and positively NOT alone.

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